A Vermont wedding photographer’s perspective on first looks — and why getting ready together might feel even better.

As a Vermont wedding photographer, I’ve been a witness to and a documenter of a lot of first looks.

And truly? They can be beautiful.

The nervous smile. The deep breath before the tap on the shoulder. The way one of you turns around and immediately softens. I’ve watched hands shake. I’ve watched tears fall. I’ve watched people completely forget I’m there.

First looks have a lot of things going for them.

But they’ve quietly become the default.
The expected moment.
The thing you’re “supposed” to do.

And lately, I’ve found myself loving something else even more.

Getting ready together on the morning of your wedding or elopement.

The Case for Getting Ready Together on Your Wedding or Elopement Day

Picture this instead:

The two of you in the same quiet space. Bare feet on worn wood floors. One of you is steaming a shirt while the other searches for a missing earring. Coffee cups abandoned (for a kiss or a glass of champagne or a bite of breakfast) on the windowsill. The low hum of morning.

No staged reveal.
No orchestrated reaction.
Just the slow unfolding of the day — together.

When couples choose to skip the first look and get ready together, something shifts. It feels less like a performance and more like a day built on connection from the very first moment. You’re not preparing to meet each other. You’re preparing with each other.

First Looks Aren’t Wrong — They’re Just Not Required

Let me start by saying this: a first look wedding or elopement moment can be incredibly meaningful. There are beautiful, personal, and emotional reasons couples choose to see each other privately before the ceremony:

• It eases nerves.
• It creates a quiet pocket of connection.
• It allows for portraits before guests arrive, so you can spend more time at cocktail hour with the people you love.

I still photograph them. I still love them. But these same reasons and benefits of doing a first look ring true when you choose to get ready together the morning of your wedding or elopement.

So, if you’ve never questioned whether you actually want a first look (or if you’ve fallen into it because it is what you’ve seen all your friends do), this is your gentle permission to take a step back and ask, “What makes the most sense for our relationship, the way we want to feel, and the story we want to tell together throughout our day and in our final gallery?” Because a first look isn’t the only way to create intimacy.

Who is Getting Ready Together Really For?

This isn’t about trends. It’s about temperament. Getting ready together might be for you if:

• Being near each other is what calms you.
• You don’t love the idea of staging a big reaction.
• You feel more grounded side-by-side than separated.
• You want your wedding day to feel collaborative, not choreographed.
• You’re planning an intimate Vermont wedding or elopement where closeness matters more than spectacle.

Some couples thrive in anticipation and surprise. Others exhale when they’re holding hands. Neither is better. But one will probably feel more like home.

Together, you can finish writing vows, sip coffee, help each other into outfits, and

The Practical Side of Skipping a First Look on Your Wedding or Elopement Day

Let’s talk logistics — because this isn’t just poetic. When you skip a first look and get ready together:

• Your timeline can feel less segmented.
• There’s no pressure to manufacture the “right reaction.”
• The morning stays slower and more organic.
• You get more documentary moments — laughter, problem-solving, quiet glances.
• You start the day already aligned instead of coming together midstream.

Especially for smaller weddings and elopements, this can reduce stress dramatically. There’s no need to shuffle locations or hide from each other. The day flows from the get-go. And the photos? They reflect who you actually are together — not who you are when prompted.

What I Notice as a Vermont Wedding Photographer

In Vermont, weddings tend to lean intimate. Intentional. Experience-driven. When couples get ready together in a cabin in the woods, an old inn with creaky floors, or a quiet home overlooking the mountains, it feels grounded.

Like the day belongs to them.

I notice fewer nerves.
More shared glances.
More laughter.
More of that quiet, “Can you believe this is happening?” energy.

It doesn’t replace emotion. It just relocates it. Instead of a single orchestrated moment, it’s woven throughout the morning.

You Might Also Be Wondering…

• The Best Places to Elope in Vermont
• How to Personalize your Vermont Elopement
• Should You Do a First Look on Your Wedding Day?
• Common Wedding Timeline Mistakes
• How to Plan Your Vermont Wedding: A Step-by-Step Guide

Not sure what direction you’re leaning yet? That’s completely okay.

When we plan your wedding photography together, we’ll talk through all of it — first looks, getting ready together, timelines, nerves, energy. My job isn’t to push you toward a format. It’s to help you figure out what will feel the most like you when you wake up that morning.

And if reading this made you feel seen — if you’re craving a wedding day that feels more side-by-side than center stage — then we’re probably aligned in more ways than one.

I’d love to hear what you’re dreaming up.